"Cedar Dome" to Enclose the Entirety of Campus for Warmth

CEDARVILLE - OHIO

In a truly shocking and very well-timed announcement, the Cedarville University School of Engineering and Computer Science has announced plans to construct the largest free-standing dome in the world. The "Cedar Semi-Sphere" or "Cedar Dome" will stretch from the IM fields all the way to the Hill as shown in the illustration above.

The proposed dome has several purposes. Its primary use is to provide year-round climate control for the entire university. Underneath the dome, the environment will be kept at 70 degrees Fahrenheit throughout the year. In addition, the dome will protect the campus against rain, snow, and wind chill.

The second purpose of the dome is to give the engineering students something to do. 

Finally, construction of the dome gives Cedarville University valuable experience with environmental and planetary engineering. Megastructures on the order of miles are few and far between, and those experienced in this area are few. Building the Cedar Dome will give Cedarville University valuable experience that can be leveraged on projects of even greater scale in the future.

Some have questioned the cost of the project. They rightly point out that such a structure is likely to cost billions. To calm fears and ease worries, Dr. Thomas White has proposed the "1,000 MONTHS TRANSFORMED" campaign. Because 1,000 months is about 30 times longer than 1,000 days, the campaign will obviously raise 30 times the amount of money.

"1,000 months is about the span of a human life," Dr. White said on Friday during a trustee meeting. "Cedarville is not just about 1,000 days. It is about transforming lives for 1,000 days SO THAT they can live transformed for Jesus for 1,000 months!"

Construction of the dome is scheduled to begin as soon as the campaign is launched this spring. According to the preliminary calendar, the Cedar Dome is scheduled for completion in 2027 while the 1,000 MONTHS campaign is scheduled to conclude in 2109.